Dear Yao,
代写MBA ESSAYI have looked at the parts written in red (not the whole draft, as I can only check that once, and want to make sure you have made all the
necessary changes first). I've attached it with comments.You need to make some major improvements:
1.Follow APA referencing guidelines for ALL citations and the list of References - there are MANY errors.
2. You need to check ALL aspects of grammar and language accuracy ; there are many mistakes with verb endings,
tenses, word order, sentence structure, punctuation.
3. Some parts are unclear and/or need more detail/explanation.
4. Re-read and check again
that you understand all your targets; I've attached them again as a document.
Please email me with any questions about any points you don't understand.Then make all the changes.
代写MBA ESSAY Once you have made ALL the other necessary changes, it might be a good idea
to have your work checked by a proofreader; I'll let you know about this.
Yao Pan’ s dissertation report: summary of key comments
1. All sources cited in the body of the dissertation must be included in the List of References. (see 1and 2 below)
2. All sources cited must be correctly referenced in the body of the dissertation. (see 1and 2 below)
3. You need to refer to research design literature: this means you need to explain what principles your research design was based on, referring to texts on research methodology. (see 3 and 4 below)
4. You need to explain very carefully why you chose these methods of research ; you can also include here explaining why other methods were less appropriate for your study. (see 3 and 4 below)
5. If you did a pilot study you need to describe it and explain what changes you made to your research design ( if any) as a result. If you did not, then ignore this.
6. You need to refer to ethical issues; this means you should explain how you took participants’ personal situation and details into account in carrying out each stage of the research, from recruitment of participants to reporting results and findings in your dissertation. Also: what steps you took to preserve their anonymity, and how you reassured them of this. – read pages 33 – 35 of the MA handbook for more details on this. (see also 3 below)
7./ Describe carefully, step by step, the actual procedure which was carried out. (see 3 below)
8. Check that all the figures are correct! (e.g. p24) (see 5 below)
9. Use tentative /hedging language when making claims (p32) – *see ELS Term 1 class materials on style and hedging.
10. Proofread your dissertation very carefully. (see 6 below)
11. It is a dissertation, not a paper.
Targets:
1. Check all references are cited accurately.
2. Go through dissertation and rewrite correctly all references to a primary source noted by the marker in pencil; rewrite so that the primary source is correctly acknowledged in text, and make sure it is correctly listed in References.
3. Add a short section to methodology section describing the design and administration of your chosen research instruments. Say what issues were raised and how you addressed them.* Also explain carefully how you recruited the participants for your research.
4. Add a reference to the methodology section, showing you’ve read at least one additional work on educational research methodology.
5. 代写MBA ESSAYCheck statistics again and make sure all numbers add up.
6. Proofread (esp p7)